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Welcome to Startups Weekly — Haje’sweekly review of everything you ca n’t miss from the world of startups . Sign uphereto get it in your inbox every Friday .

restrain on to your Apple Watches , folks ! AtWWDC 2024 , Apple finally decided to give Siri abrain transplantation with something they ’re telephone “ Apple Intelligence”(AI — get it ? ) . Apparently , it ’s so sassy it ’ll have it away more about your aliveness than you do . Tim Cook promise it ’ll be all about privacy and personal circumstance — so intimate even your journal might feel neglected . And hazard what ? Siri ’s makeover means we get Genmoji ( yes , that ’s genuine ) , because I just know you ’ve been hurt for an AI to craft your emojis . Also on the menu : typecast enquiry into Siri like it ’s 2010 again and a “ Private Cloud Compute , ” which fathom like techie talk for “ We ’re still spy on you but in a nicer way . ” Look out for this new wave of iMagic rolling out soon!Here ’s everything that was announce at WWDC !

Not everyone is psyched about the announcement , though : In the new sequence of “ Tech Titans Throw scene ” this workweek , Elon Muskthreatens to shun iPhones fromTesla , SpaceX , andxAIover Apple ’s new ChatGPT integrating . I guess that in Elon ’s creation , “ cut - edge innovation ” is synonymous with banning the world ’s most popular smartphone over an AI supporter lineament that ask for permission before doing anything . Is Tim Cook quaking in his boots or just rolling his eyes ? Answers on a post card , plz .

Trend of the week: Circling the drain

In today ’s sequence of “ The Mighty : How They Have Fallen , ” we take you the tragic tarradiddle ofByju ’s , once a $ 22 billion edtech Darling River , now worth zero in BlackRock ’s eye . After missing fiscal target , dish out with resignation faster than you could say “ governance issues , ” and getting publicly roasted by investors , Byju ’s has become a cautionary story for startups everywhere .

Now hold on to your cap tables , folks ! Once the darling of Silicon Valley with dreams of becoming the ultimate stock trading overlord , Carta faces a evaluation nosedive from $ 8.5 billion to a mere $ 2 billion — if they ’re favorable . After getting caught ruby-red - handed misusing customer data point and retreating from their subaltern trading speculation faster than you’re able to say “ PR catastrophe , ” it ’s clear thatnot all that glitters in startup land is Au . With lawsuits , toxic cultivation claims , and guest fleeing for bighearted bank , it seems Carta ’s high - flying days are ground for estimable . Investors like Andreessen Horowitz must be shudder …

More tough newsworthiness :

Most interesting fundraises this week

receive to the 2024 inauguration funding circus , where Y Combinator company are do a daring novel act — lift petite seed rounds with sky - gamy valuations and no lead investors . Angels are swooping in like athirst pigeons , leaving institutional investor scratching their top dog and clutching their wallets . Will this high - conducting wire human activity pay off off or will it leave startup dangling without a safety net ? Grab your popcorn ; this version of the show is just getting begin !

Join us at TechCrunch Sessions: AI

Exhibit at TechCrunch Sessions: AI

Damn , theParis - found AI startup Mistral AI just snag a banging $ 640 million in its Series B financial backing . With General Catalyst pass the billing , this fresh - look rival in the AI arena is now valued at a cool $ 6 billion . Co - founded by ex - Meta and DeepMind Einstein , Mistral direct to take on big shot like OpenAI with their own sheeny good example and open reference goodies . But do n’t get too cozy ; their top - tier models are locked tighter than Banque de France unless you ’ve contract an API pass .

Other unmissable TechCrunch stories…

receive to the world where cats finally get the very important person intervention they merit — Meowtel has claw its way to profitability , despite dog - obsessed VCs turning up their noses . Founder Sonya Petcavich , breathe in by her own feline guilt tripper , took $ 100,000 and a dreaming to produce an elite cat - sitting service of process . With 2,200 setting hen and over 95,000 successful sits under its belt ( or should we say collar?),Meowtel is proving that cats are n’t just 2nd - socio-economic class dearie .

Moar ? Moar !